Is Saying Yes to Everyone Costing You the Life You Truly Want?
When I first started coaching, I wanted to be everything to everyone. I didn’t want anyone to feel left out, so I never said I only coach women. I kept my doors wide open, thinking that inclusivity meant saying yes to everyone and every opportunity. But that approach came with a price I didn’t realize I was paying at the time.
Back then, I offered coaching sessions in the evenings and on weekends. My kids were young, and I thought I could juggle it all—being a present mom and a committed coach. But the reality was different. I found myself picking coaching over family time, and it started to weigh on me. My kids will never be this age again, and I was missing out on moments I could never get back.
It took me a while, but I finally realized that I needed to set some boundaries. Nights and weekends became off-limits for coaching. Sure, there might come a season where evenings and weekends feel right again, but right now, they’re reserved for my family. This shift didn’t just happen overnight; it was a gradual process of recognizing what truly mattered to me in this season of my life.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is the value of alone time. I’m someone who needs time to recharge and process my feelings. But here’s the thing—I wasn’t proud of the way I initially communicated this need. My tone and choice of words really needed some work. I was almost ashamed to admit I needed a break, and I found myself setting boundaries by snapping or using harsh words instead of communicating like a calm, emotionally mature adult. I’ve come a long way from those early days of snapping to set boundaries, but hey, I’m still a work in progress. There’s always room to grow, and I’m learning to give myself grace along the way.
Another area where boundaries made a huge difference was with my social life. My FOMO from social events really started to fade when I got serious about my boundaries. The feeling of being stretched too thin or stressed because I overcommitted almost vanished. I realized that if something isn’t bringing me peace, joy, or money, it’s a hard no. This shift has been so freeing, allowing me to focus on what truly matters without the guilt or pressure to say yes to everything.
These boundaries didn’t just protect my energy; they allowed me to show up fully for both my clients and my family. By respecting my own needs, I was able to create a balance that felt right, without the guilt or pressure of trying to be everything to everyone.
If any of this resonates with you, know that you’re not alone. Setting boundaries can be challenging, but it’s also incredibly freeing. It’s about making choices that align with your values and the life you want to live. And if you’re struggling with where to start, I’m here to help.
Here’s to setting boundaries and living your favorite life,
Nicolette—the coach who’s all in for women, but only during business hours and definitely not on weekends 😉
